Waking Kuwabara Up
by Dark McCloud
Summary: The Reikai Tantei has a day off, and Kuwabara's snoring is slowly grating their nerves. This is their account of the waking of Kuwabara. R


Waking Kuwabara Up –

It was a tranquil day at Genkai's temple. There were no crazy tournaments or psychotic demon gods prancing about in neon chicken suits, claiming to be the ruler of all the goats in Switzerland. And, as Genkai was relaxing on the front porch, the Reikai Tantei were following her lead, relaxing peacefully…

Quiet…

"SNORE!"

Oh dear, it seems we've gone wrong again. One Kazuma Kuwabara had been taking advantage of the vacation by sleeping in this morning…well…afternoon, as it was nearing two o'clock. And one three-eyed fire demon was sitting, meditating in the next room. His left eye twitched, the thin walls of the dojo did little to block out Kuwabara's annoying snores. Hiei prayed to whatever deity that decided to take pity on him and stop this horrendous racket.

…the deities weren't listening today. Actually, they were all caught up in a poker game, and if Hiei were to leave his name and number after the tone, they would get back to him as soon as possible. This annoyed the fire demon even more, that a bunch of stupid pieces of waxed cardboard were more important than his welfare. He smashed a few pots in his anger. Now my little chickadees, Hiei forgot his meds today didn't he?

Meanwhile, in a far-away land known as The Other Side of the Room, Shuuichi Minamino, known better to his fellow demons and detectives as the great fox thief Kurama, sat calmly, though an uncharacteristic vein was throbbing on the side of his head. He had to draw the line somewhere. And Kuwabara had crossed that line 3.2 miles ago.

But let us not forget 'The Great Urameshi', who was outside. Punching down trees, and using little reigan blasts to do it. Genkai was watching this scene from her large wicker chair, a pot of tea by her side. She was hoping no one would notice her, or else she might have to help sort things out.

The old martial arts master didn't really mind Yusuke's venting of anger. As long as he didn't set her property on fire. If he did, she'd kick his ass.

"What are you doing?" said a voice from behind her, and she turned to see a teenage Koenma. "I heard some fervent begging from spirit world, so I decided to investigate the source." He blinked, taking in the snoring, Yusuke's banging, Hiei's chanting, Kurama's quiet cursing. "Shouldn't you do something about all this?"

"Boy, pull up a chair," said Genkai matter-of-factly. "It's time you learned when to just sit back and enjoy the show."

The Reikai Tantei had been pushed too far. Now they stood over Kuwabara's futon, each possessing a dangerous glint in his eye and a weapon to wake the carrot top up.

"Hiei, I do believe it is inappropriate for any blood to be spilled over this issue," Kurama said, eyeing the sharp stick in his hand. Except for Yusuke's incident with a rogue tree branch, but that could not have been helped, he mentally amended.

"Shut up fox, I am determined to stop this incessant racket. You first."

Kurama shrugged and dumped a bucket of ice water over Kuwabara's head. They stood back and watched.

Kuwabara suddenly flew into a sitting position, pointing to some distant point over Yusuke's head. "Aye laddie, we be sinkin'. Women and children fist!" he yelled, fake Irish accent included before slipping back into a deep slumber. Hiei grinned evilly and motioned to Yusuke, who wheeled a huge gong next to Kuwabara's ear and smashed it loud enough to wake the dead.

A few wandering spirits in Reikai wondered what the hell was going on.

Hiei's evil grin widened as he lifted the stick.

Suddenly, the door to the temple opened, and Yukina's innocent face appeared.

"What are you three doing?"

Hiei immediately hid the stick behind his back and began laughing nervously, his cohorts joining in. "We were just going…" he began.

"To join Genkai-san for some tea!" Kurama finished quickly.

"Oh. Alright then," Yukina said, blinking. "I'm sorry, I thought you were going to harm Kazuma."

"Us? Hurt Kuwabara?" Yusuke said. "Never…"

And nervous laughter from the three boys ensued, before they ran off. Yukina shook her head, bent down, and kissed Kuwabara lightly on the head.

"Good morning my darling Yukina," Kuwabara said cheerfully.

Yukina shook her head. "I don't know why they think it's so hard to wake you up."

The rest of the Tantei was good to their word, and went to join Koenma and Genkai for tea. But the teapot was empty. Along with the five bottles of sake they used to make it last.

And that, is the end of the Reikai Tantei's day off.

-The End-

Disclaimer- I own nothing related to Yu Yu Hakusho. If I did…well…let's just leave it to the pros, shall we?

© Jaye the Dark Samurai -- 2 January, 2005


End file.
